2022.01.21 19:38 dancinjanssen Bit of a unique situation, but an emotionally manipulative boss has completely screwed me up. Stuck on how to proceed.
I’d rather die than get doxxed in this situation, so I won’t be giving details about where I work or even my type of job. But basically, around two years ago, we got a new supervisor at work who is in the ballpark of ten years older than me. We are both female. For the first few months, everything seemed normal and professional with her. Then when Covid hit in March 2020, I ended up being moved to a role that required a little bit more interaction with her. This was when she became super overly friendly with me seemingly out of the blue. She always wanted to sit down and chat with me before I started work and on breaks, and she frequently told me to just come hang out with her in her office during my shift.
For the next year and some months, I became sucked into this boss’s attention. Coming from a rough childhood and an especially tumultuous relationship with my mother, I came to live for her praise and affirmation. While I was aware that it was affecting my job and general morale, I beyond loved hanging out with her, talking about anything and everything, pouring out my heart and soul to her while she listened and gave advice and told me she was always a safe space. And at no point did she ever tell me I’d been in there too long and to get back to work. It became a literal part of my day at some point. I didn’t know it at the time, but she filled a void and flooded me with serotonin, and it became a high I chased.
Well, inevitably, enough people complained to the higher ups about the situation and her boss told her to put a stop to it. She and I had what I thought was a reasonable conversation about it. No more hanging out in the office but we could still be friendly and civil with each other. For the first couple of months, I thought we were doing pretty well under those new boundaries.
Then she was out sick for a few weeks, and when she came back, it was like a switch had flipped. She began ignoring me, avoiding me, and not even making eye contact with me. When I tried to talk to her about anything even work related, she sighed and got the conversation over with in as few words as possible in an annoyed tone. If there was any other manager or shift lead I could have asked, she berated me for not asking them instead. She made it a point to do things like say hi and bye to everyone except me, and speak friendly to everyone except me in front of me.
I’d finally had enough and asked to speak to her about this change. After making me schedule this meeting on her Outlook calendar (when she was right there and could have just given me an available time), we had the meeting, and she proceeded to tell me that her new treatment of me was boundaries specifically for me that she had to put up because my desire to talk to her was affecting my work performance, and she suggested I seek counseling to explore why it bothers me that she now ignores me and doesn’t talk to me.
I now feel like I’m crazy. On one hand, I DID develop an unhealthy attachment to her and I can understand why she needed to take a few steps back. On the other, I don’t feel that I deserve to be shunned and ignored completely over it, especially when I haven’t even tried to hang out with her for months and have only approached her with work topics. (Which has been rough on me, but that’s my problem and not hers.)
The higher ups will do nothing about it. They don’t see what goes on and are believing her word over mine, and she says she’s still being respectful to me. In the meantime, she has new favorite workers who are doing all the same things I used to do, and she has also given the bosses excuses (aka lies) about what those workers are doing in her office all day.
I know I need to just drop her, find a new job and run for the hills, but stupid as it sounds, my attachment to her is still very much there. She doesn’t realize that there can be a happy medium between unhealthy favoritism and toxic hostility. Some part of me is still holding out hope that she’ll find that with me, but the logical side of me knows she won’t and I should just move on.
Anyone ever been in a situation like this? I am starting therapy next week for this and other related issues (like my childhood), but other than that, I am in a depression I see no way out of. Stay and keep being treated like garbage and having my sanity questioned, or leave and lose someone I still can’t bear the thought of losing.
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2022.01.21 19:38 GrowingFrigate meirl
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2022.01.21 19:38 ComiX-Fan New Marvel homage! X Lives of Wolverine #1 / Incredible Hulk (1971 series) #181
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2022.01.21 19:38 Master-Thief Extremely belated 2022 BT Con Tour Planning Thingy (we miss you buny o7)
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2022.01.21 19:38 typewritersnail Not sure if this has been shared here, yet, but this may be coming up.
2022.01.21 19:38 whymethrowaway222 It hurts, Ik I’m screwed
About to head to a casino to play a little poker. I live in an areas where this is only the second time I’ve had the opportunity to go. 1 hour 40 min drive with my buddies is nit as fun as I thought. I feel like I’m going to explode. Also if I happen to make it how would I sit at a table to play. My ibs is telling me to go fuck myself. I need help wish me luck
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2022.01.21 19:38 Strict_Complaint_735 11 Greatest Sex Tips for Women
| There are countless books, instructional videos, and colorful diagrams devoted to answering the question, "How can I please my lover in bed?" While plenty (if not all) of this advice is helpful, perfecting your lovemaking techniques isn't the sole path to having better sex—especially since not everyone's brought to a mind-scrambling climax the same ways. |
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2022.01.21 19:38 Opposite_Result_3289 Refund for Coins not working!!!
2022.01.21 19:38 Traffy7 Why is RBK still opposing Sei plan of unification ?
RBK is very smart and should have tought about how to end war , but it seems that he doesn't have any ambition to stop war or to try it , he just want to to defends it .
To be precise i don't hold against RBK his will to defend Zhao and oppose Zhao .
But my question is what make RBK fight so much for Zhao ?
Is it because of Kaine ?
Because he think Sei way is wrong ?
He doesn't care about peace and just want Zhao to survive ?
I ask this question , because RBK could - plan with Sei to take Zhao , and it would limit so much the casuality , in fact i think he could protect Zhao people by letting them submit to Qin .
is he patriotic ? or he just doesn't care about peace ? or he think Sei is wrong .
My opinion is that it lean to the second option , he either doesn't care about peace and just prefer for Zhao to survive even if it means war after his death , or he prefer that Zhao unify other country .
For example Qi king ,is someone also who is highly intelligent and made a choice , Ryofui , is also someone really intelligent and tought of a solution .
but RBK seems to be okay to stay as his role of general and don't want to think further .
I guess that is what seperate a general and a king . Great king has to a vision for they people .
RBK seemed to be okay just following , and even tough some people think he should become king , he doesn't seem interested by it , or think it is the wrong way .
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2022.01.21 19:38 Myriji Add me for gift exchange!
2022.01.21 19:38 snkde YMMV Lowe's CRAFTSMAN 2-ft x 2-ft Craftsman Resin shed $99.00
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2022.01.21 19:38 saurin212 Nasdaq, S&P Finish Worst Week Since Pandemic Onset
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2022.01.21 19:38 mtp12345 🤔
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2022.01.21 19:38 Ambitious-Audience83 is the wave today or next friday?
2022.01.21 19:38 regainedhair198 How To Sleep After A Hair Transplant *Tutorial
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2022.01.21 19:38 bassilap Nav SD cards
I recently made an image of my SD card in case it got corrupt or whatnot. Is there a place where these types of things can be shared in case something like this happens to others? I scoured the internet but can't find anything except Nav SD cards for sale online.
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2022.01.21 19:38 choc701 Kyle Kinch caters to accommodate queues with first lower of 2022, ‘Mambo’ – Dancing Astronaut
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2022.01.21 19:38 csnormie3000 Big Diesel engine oil change big o ring is missing.
I have to change the oil in my RV, it’s an international DT 466 from 2007, the last time I did the oil change I was a newb. I got the filter and the oil. Replace the O ring on the bottom of the oil pan, but there was a big O ring also included in the new filter. I did t know what it was for and shrugged it off. A mechanic told me it should have replaced the one that existed around the fitting where filter screws on to. I thought that meant I was screwed but he told me not to worry as the old one is definitely still good.
Now fast forward to today, a little over 5K miles later. I bought the oil (tractor supply store brand 15W40) and the filter from luberfiner. And no large o ring came with it. Only two small ones. Should I go ahead with the change? Go to an international dealership and get my parts questions sorted? Please my friends with big diesel knowledge help me not fuck my shit up.
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2022.01.21 19:38 MrQuackalotOWO Day 323 of my NoFap journey
2022.01.21 19:38 Fun_Understanding968 Cheeto is the biggest and fluffiest she’s ever been!! She screams at me constantly and is zooming all over the place!! The second course of antibiotics has been working its magic!
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2022.01.21 19:38 esotouric_tours There's an update to our 2019 post about the 1895 folk Victorian at 1326 S. Mariposa, and it's not good. Screw you, Warren Buffett, and your ghoulish real estate speculation in one of the poorest neighborhoods of Los Angeles. Ellis Act Reform Now! (link in comments)
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2022.01.21 19:38 DelarkArms Upward double clutching, Is it worth it?
When I first started to drive I tried to embed myself the most I could about the inner mechanics of the gears and how they work.
And it always seemed to me that "double clutching" is mostly used when you need to match the revolutions.
Matching revolutions applies in certain scenarios but all of them can be summarized in this.
The speed of the wheels touching the street are different from that of the output shaft when the disk disconnects the gear box from whats left towards the wheels in contact with the street.
Unless you are in 4th gear which in most cars represent a 1:1 ratio (or super cars which I don't know).
Other gears are less than one which means they need more revolutions for the wheel to performa a full spin.
What does this mean??
This means that rev matching is only useful when downshifting beyond that 1:1 ratio, as the output shaft gets slowed down from its previous rotating force to match that of the rotating spin required by the corresponding shift in the gear box.
All makes sense, ...So ... Going UP would not require a rev match and would only lessen the time of input and clutch contact making it far worse than doing it normally.
UNTIL.. I began using a more powerful engine than my previous car....
At first it all began because the 1st shift was a little jerky at first, I was not very use to such power, and my previous car was smooth. but weak.
I always began double clutching a little bit from N to 1st gear.
This allowed me to clutch faster and be less jerky.
Then the motor memory kicked in, and before knowing I was now double clutching everywhere...
Whats worst... I acknowledge this is the exact same "sound" (the sound of double clutching) that every one of those "super car" youTube videos have... so ... Is EVERYONE double clutching????
I do understand something... I have used powerful engines before I started double clutching, and the thing I noticed during those times is that after each shift, the car always had this SUDDEN G FORCE acceleration, TOO EXAGERATED AT TIMES.
NOW I don't feel that anymore, BUT, my speed seems to be more constant AND sometimes AS FASTER OR EVEN MORE... but I cannot confirm this as I would need the tech necessary to prove this (speedometers and a street all for myself).
Is upward double clutching worth it? what's your experience???
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2022.01.21 19:38 roseinthesky Toronto Botox Lip Flip - recommendation?
2022.01.21 19:38 Homeofthelizardmen The Fjord
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2022.01.21 19:38 PapaPump223 DKNG third in New York Handle Share
At the risk of pouring fire on the gasoline(I'm down big myself and still holding), numbers are out for NYC.
It's not exactly a great look that we're third. On the other hand Ceasars had the most outlandish promos so you could question whether it's sustainable. Logic may dictate that FD and DKNG settle in to no.1 and 2 spots over time.
Still can't lie. A little disappointing. Although the fact the handle was so much bigger than expected is a positive. Thoughts?
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